May: a magical month full of plot twists, personal growth, and one long-standing feud with the wind. This was the month I hit pause on life with a staycation and pressed rewind on a decision I made months ago — to stop wearing my hearing aid. Turns out, sometimes life gives you lemons and audiology appointments.
Breaking News: I Un-Quit My Hearing Aid
A while back, I wrote a heartfelt, soul-searching blog about ditching my hearing aid. It was empowering. Liberating. Poetic, even. But guess what? I went back on that decision faster than a cat backs away from a cucumber. And I’m not sorry.
Why the change of heart? Safety. My mobility instructor (aka my personal GPS with feelings) gently suggested that wearing a hearing aid could make crossing roads safer now that I’m walking more routes independently. Hard to argue with logic that might keep you from becoming street pizza.
So off I went for another hearing test, expecting the usual results. But plot twist! My hearing had improved. Now, before anyone starts planning a miracle documentary about me: I’m still Deaf in my left ear. But the test results from May matched the ones I had before a round of severe COVID temporarily tanked my hearing. So, either my ears are on a comeback tour or my cochlea just needed a long nap.
The Painful Plot Twist
The audiologist fitted me with a shiny new hearing aid and gave me a three-week trial period. Sounds great, right? Wrong. The bass sounds were so intense, I thought someone installed subwoofers in my skull. Every breeze felt like a hurricane was whispering angry secrets directly into my brain.
No one was available to make adjustments during the trial period, so I just… stopped wearing it. At that point, the hearing aid was doing a better job of blocking out oncoming cars than alerting me to them. Not ideal when trying to not to become as flat as a salami slice!
Eventually, at the follow-up appointment, I found out I was experiencing something called “occlusion” — which is just a fancy way of saying my ear mold had turned into a vacuum of pain. Why? Because someone forgot to add a vent. One job, guys. One. Job.
Luckily, the hearing specialist drilled a vent right then and there (I imagine with the same energy as someone saving the world in an action movie). Instant relief! Because I couldn’t wear it for most of the original trial, they extended my test period into June.
I’m Not Broken. But Bluetooth Is Amazing.
Let me be clear: I still don’t believe I need a hearing aid to “fix” me. I’ll continue encouraging friends and family to sign (yes, even if it’s just a clumsy attempt at the alphabet). But I do now appreciate what the hearing aid adds to my life — specifically, less risk of car accidents and more phone calls where I don’t say, “Wait, what?” a hundred times.
The real game-changer? Bluetooth. I can make phone calls! Alone! And remember stuff people say without needing a backup note-taker! It’s honestly life-changing, and I finally get what all the fuss was about when people were raving about hands-free calling.
Meanwhile, in the Land of Couch Cushions…
While my hearing aid saga played out like a very niche Netflix mini-series, I also enjoyed a well-deserved Staycation. My housemate Jessy flew off to Greece at 6am like some kind of glamorous international woman of mystery, and I vowed to make my time at home just as fabulous — minus the airport stress.
Mission: Staycation was a wild success. I had full remote control dominance, unlimited snack privileges, stayed up irresponsibly late playing video games and FaceTiming friends, and cooked whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted (which is the true dream). My far-away-neighbor (a.k.a. not-next-door-but-close-enough) and I even went out for pancakes loaded with the kind of toppings that scream “dentist appointment incoming.”
Jessy and I are great at doing life together and apart. Her being able to leave without worrying about me is a gift to both of us. I got to flex my independence, and she got a worry-free vacation. Win-win. But don’t tell her I missed her — that’s strictly off the record.
The Random May Montage
Between the hearing aid drama and the couch-potato luxury, May also included regular trips to the day center, a few medical appointments, and even a dip in the local swimming pool. I also kept the tradition of weekly calls to Dad alive — though early in the month, we nearly rage-quit the internet trying to survive Microsoft’s Big Move from Skype to Teams. I wanted to call my Dad, not participate in a tech stress test! If I could’ve slapped Microsoft with a wet fish, I would’ve. Preferably a large one.
What’s Next?
As May closes out, June is already whispering promises of adventure. I can confirm at least one exciting thing is happening, but if you want to know what it is… well, you’ll just have to tune in next time.
Until then, be good — and if you can’t be good, be the biggest BadAss you can be. Your ears (and pancakes) deserve nothing less.
Stay tuned, stay sassy, and remember: even if you take a few steps back, you’re still moving forward.
DonnieTown 